I recently read the book entitled What Alice Forgot and last night met with the book club to discuss it. It was a gripping story about a 39 year old woman who has an accident and cannot remember the last 10 years of her life. She thinks she is recently married and pregnant with her first child- when in fact she has three children and is going through a very ugly divorce. As she tries to understand how her life is, her children are, her friends are, and why she and her husband are going through a divorce she comes to several important realizations. In discussing the book last night there were several questions that we discussed as a group and one of them really struck a chord with me- Are you more like the younger Alice or the older Alice and are you proud of your parenting style with your children. This was a very hard question to answer for me, and some of the other women also struggled to pinpoint their answer. Our oldest child just turned 7 in March, so ten years ago, it was just me and my husband- what did we do with all of our time? It was hard for many of us to remember what that was like- almost like we too like Alice couldn't remember or relate. In the world I live in now, we are constantly on the go- soccer, tee ball, or ballet practice, kids birthday parties, making lunches, helping with homework, volunteering at the school and/or church. I have this great sense of having to keep all the balls in motion while maintaining a calm disposition- is that even possible when working full time and managing 3 children under the age of 7? I desire to have a calm, relaxed environment for the children to grow up in, yet so often I find myself stressed or anxious to ensure all is perfect..... where is the balance? I like Alice, need to be more flexible and patient when understand the current situation/surroundings. Try to take a step back and see if it is worth the effort, stress, and emotions in whatever you may encounter. As I have mentioned before, I think a lot has to do with the environment that our family is currently in. My husband and I both work full time, with demanding jobs that require a lot from us Monday-Friday. On the weekends, we are busy with sporting events which occupy quite a bit of time, yet the kids love them- it is part of the American dream- yet we still have to get house chores done, grocery shopping for the week, homework/book reports completed, and then have time to ourselves as a family. I need to remind myself more often that it started with my husband and I, and the love we had built a wonderful family with three amazing children. Cherish these years, because like everyone says they grow up so fast- which is so true, it is hard to believe our oldest is 7 and the twins will be 6 in August. Try to be patient, calm, relaxed, flexible- especially when the situation is stressful and unnerving at the moment- take a deep breath and push away the stress- be better to live in the moment.
