What Alice Forgot

I recently read the book entitled What Alice Forgot and last night met with the book club to discuss it. It was a gripping story about a 39 year old woman who has an accident and cannot remember the last 10 years of her life. She thinks she is recently married and pregnant with her first child- when in fact she has three children and is going through a very ugly divorce. As she tries to understand how her life is, her children are, her friends are, and why she and her husband are going through a divorce she comes to several important realizations. In discussing the book last night there were several questions that we discussed as a group and one of them really struck a chord with me- Are you more like the younger Alice or the older Alice and are you proud of your parenting style with your children. This was a very hard question to answer for me, and some of the other women also struggled to pinpoint their answer. Our oldest child just turned 7 in March, so ten years ago, it was just me and my husband- what did we do with all of our time? It was hard for many of us to remember what that was like- almost like we too like Alice couldn't remember or relate. In the world I live in now, we are constantly on the go- soccer, tee ball, or ballet practice, kids birthday parties, making lunches, helping with homework, volunteering at the school and/or church. I have this great sense of having to keep all the balls in motion while maintaining a calm disposition- is that even possible when working full time and managing 3 children under the age of 7? I desire to have a calm, relaxed environment for the children to grow up in, yet so often I find myself stressed or anxious to ensure all is perfect..... where is the balance? I like Alice, need to be more flexible and patient when understand the current situation/surroundings. Try to take a step back and see if it is worth the effort, stress, and emotions in whatever you may encounter. As I have mentioned before, I think a lot has to do with the environment that our family is currently in. My husband and I both work full time, with demanding jobs that require a lot from us Monday-Friday. On the weekends, we are busy with sporting events which occupy quite a bit of time, yet the kids love them- it is part of the American dream- yet we still have to get house chores done, grocery shopping for the week, homework/book reports completed, and then have time to ourselves as a family. I need to remind myself more often that it started with my husband and I, and the love we had built a wonderful family with three amazing children. Cherish these years, because like everyone says they grow up so fast- which is so true, it is hard to believe our oldest is 7 and the twins will be 6 in August. Try to be patient, calm, relaxed, flexible- especially when the situation is stressful and unnerving at the moment- take a deep breath and push away the stress- be better to live in the moment.

Challenges are great for the mind and body!!

This morning started off with  6am pickup from two friends to head to Santa Cruz for a half marathon run. It was a beautiful morning, the course was so scenic- along the coast. I had finished the previous two half marathons in 2:10 and 2:11 each- today was 2:14.... Honestly I had hoped to finish in less than 2:10, but within 4 minutes isn't so bad right? Considering I hadn't really been running and/or training seriously I think it was good. Some runs you are in that groove- the music, the tempo, the strides- however I haven't got to that point where my body isn't fighting my mind- but hope to break this barrier in the coming months.  I'm planning on running another half marathon in July and hope that I can push through and run stronger, continue to improve!!  

Release- Ride the Wave

I find it interesting that I use this blog as a cathartic way to get things out of my system, yet the only one that really sees this is me.  I am a huge Pearl Jam fan, love them- since the first time I heard them.  Over the years their music has progressed while I have as well.  Last night I finished the book The Husband's Secret- complete page turner.  I found the author had done an amazing job with both character development and weaving them all together, that I could almost place myself in the book.  The books theme is about secrets and how knowing the truth is not always the best answer. It discusses that in life, everything we do, especially in relationships is about our ego. Sometimes we forgo what we want or what we need to make others happy and continue to keep the balls in motion. We all need to be better about being flexible and releasing some of the things on our agenda, but that often leads to no time to yourself- to make you happy, full fun, smiles, and laughter? For now, I take a deep breath, and release it knowing that tomorrow is a new day and full of new opportunities to start with a positive outlook, flexibility, and smiles. Cheers to that!!

Angels

Today I learned that Jennifer Kranz, the niece of someone at our St Martin's community has gone to heaven to spread her glitter.  While I have never met Jennifer or her family, feel so much empathy for their family, and they are so strong, more than they know.  I truly believe that God gives you what you can handle-there is a reason everything happens- although we may not agree or know at the time.  I have to believe that God had big plans for her, needs her.  I pray tonight for ever present love surrounding the Scharrenberg and Kranz families as they go through this trying time. #Love4JLK 

Friendships

I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends who support, listen, and help guide me through so many things. It seems that if life you have friends at different stages of your life who at the time provide what you need then. In the past few years I have been so fortunate to have bonded with an amazing group of woman who can appreciate working full time, juggling multiple chidren, and enjoying life all at the same time. I find it interesting that the friendships I have are so strong for a handfull of women, like my core, that I can share anything with them and know that they too can do the same. This security brings me such joy and happiness. I love the calls/rants, the texts to see how sick kids are feeling, the few times we get together as just moms for a coffee or drink, and the long runs which help to gel things even more. Today I feel so blessed to have such amazing, strong, supportive friends and look forward to even more memories with them all.

Breath- Just breath

As part of my new year's resolution I wanted to learn to be more patient at home. Often times with all of the things that I am juggling physically and emotionally, I loose my patience... I am become short, anxious, and exhausted. Over the past week I have been really trying to take time to quiet my mind when I feel situations like these are happening or are approaching. Taking a deep breath, holding in and then exhaling really does help- it does quiet the mind and body. It can be easier said than done, but with more practice the kids are so much more responsive and receptive to what is being asked.

Friendships

One of my best friends will be moving from California to Switzerland for 3 years. This past weekend, our family attended a going away party for her and it was so nice to see old friends, and wish her the best. You know those friends who have been through everything with you- Maggie is one of them. She has always been there for me over the past 20 years- boy have we had some fun. The first time we both learned to snowboard we had an amazing trip- we were laughing so hard it took us forever to get down the first bunny hill- good times. After college we traveled to Europe together and again created some amazing memories. I can always trust her, laugh with her, cry with her, understand her- what a true friendship should be. As she gets ready to leave for her next adventure, I hope that she takes the opportunity to find new places, meet new people, have fun, and create her own new memories that she can share with me.